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Monday, November 16, 2009

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Jason Ketchum

We were both working for Verizon Wireless. We worked in two different departments but they operated out of the same section of the building. I remember the first time I saw Heather, she sat relatively close to me and to get in and out of her department she had to walk past me. I was standing up, as I usually would, talking on the phone when I saw her walking by. She was wearing a cream and black silk shirt, black vest and black pants. She was stunning, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. This was probably noticed by people around me as I was following her not just with my eyes but was turning my whole body to follow her, as if gravity was forcing me to turn. I watched the way she walked. It was purposeful, with a bounce to her step that made her hair slightly flip in the back. I said out loud "who is that"? Thankfully nobody heard me 'cause I didn't realize I was saying it out loud and I was embarrassed afterward. I later found out her name and that she was involved with someone. A little time passed and things were shifted around in the office. I was moved closer to her, with a better view of her also. Six months had gone by since I had first seen her and still I hadn't had the courage to speak to her. Luckily my job required cross training in her department and as if fate were stepping in due to lack of my action, I was paired with her to be trained. I remember being so nervous sitting behind her trying not to get too close although I wanted to be. It probably appeared awkward as my colleagues who were also cross training were much closer and more involved with their assigned trainers. Then she turned to me and spoke, I don't even remember what she said but I mustered up some semblance of a response. One of her friends sat a few seats away from her and was talking to me, this allowed for me to engaged in conversation with the both of them without having to rely solely on my conversational skills with her. I would sit back and let them talk while I listened mostly. She had a wonderful laugh, it reminded me of Julia Roberts. It was infectious, and her sense of humor was a bit quirky like mine from what I could tell. After that encounter, we would acknowledge each other in passing. I was involved with someone at this point, also a co-worker. Then around Thanksgiving of 2004, I got an email from Heather. It was just a question about a policy that she thought I would know. I promptly responded to her and made sure to end the email in a open ended question. I got a response a few days later, short and concise but also with an open ended question at the end of it. Usually our emails ended with "what do you think about ____ "? This went back and forth every few days maybe weeks would pass in-between emails. The content was always inquisitive, playful, and humorous. She was quirky, like I previously thought, and wondered about random stuff. This was amusing to me and drew me in more with every email. We never talked about each other's relationship, although we did talk about relationship issues. She would ask why guys did certain things and I, in turn, would ask why girls were so crazy. Our email conversations led into more serious topics. Religion, politics, social issues all were included in our emails and for the first time I can remember, I was actually interested in what she thought and why she thought certain ways. We would ask so many questions to each other that before I knew it, she knew me better than most of the people in my life. To this point we still hadn't spoken aloud more than 15 words to each other. I knew I had feelings for her but I wouldn't cross the line as we were both still involved. After about a year or so only communicating through email, we decided to meet outside of work. I had professed that I had feelings for her and she expressed the same to me. Although we were both confused by what was happening, sheer curiosity compelled us to see if these feelings would carry over into the "real world" as we called it. The first time we were supposed to meet up I chickened out. We were both still involved and I couldn't muster up the courage to go through with it. A few months went past and we gave it another shot since obviously our feelings were not subsiding and it was getting to the point of being unbearable for me. I had to know what it was like to sit close to her and look into her eyes as we talked. So the first time we met up it was at Chili's. I showed up and there she was sitting with 3 of her friends. I was terrified. Not only was I sitting across from this girl who has been consuming my thoughts, but I also had to keep myself composed in front of her friends who I was certain were there to inspect me. The night went great, her friends left a little while into the night and left us there to talk. We spent another hour or so just talking. Conversation with her was so easy. There were no moments where we were left without something to say, we drifted from one topic to the next with no discernable path as to how we got there. It was wonderful. After that, time went by and we continued to talk through email. We would pass each other knowing looks while at work but were still unable to fully express our feelings. I ended the relationship I was in as I was sure there was only one person that truly made me happy. Now the only problem was she was still involved. We never wanted to hurt the other people we were with so our relationship never moved passed a friend status. I was determined to make her mine though so I let her know my intentions and told her I would wait for her till she was available and we could explore these crazy, confusing, wonderful feelings. It wasn't long-but it seemed like an eternity-when she finally was single and we decided to go out again. This time to a private location on a beach where I had packed us a light snack and some wine. We laid on the beach blanket talking and looking up at the stars for hours. Time flew by when we were with each other and it was quickly approaching the time we had to leave. I so wanted to kiss her but was also so nervous. I walked her to her car and just at the last moment I mustered up enough courage to go in for the kiss. My heart was racing and, while it was quick, it was enough. I knew life would never be the same for me. I had found the girl that made my soul ache to be next to hers. The rest is history as they would say. I am so lucky to have found the one person that fills me up with love that it is hard to contain at times. She is my happiness when I wake up in the morning, my partner in life.

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  • Lighted boat parade.
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